The Float
My birthday was last week and it was a very special day-I was totally spoiled in ways I rarely allow the spending of money to achieve. I got my eyebrows waxed, my eyelashes lifted and tinted (I have deep set eyes and these two things changed the appearance of my eyes in pretty amazing ways- ask me more about it if you’re interested!) and I went for a float. I want to tell you all about it, because I think it is going to be life changing.
I’m not going to tell you a ton about what the float tank is, because it is so well described on the Fadeaway Floatation Center Website It’s basically sensory deprivation.
I went into the experience having heard that it is kind of hard to get used to on the first time and that most people need to give the experience several tries before making a full judgement call. I figured that since I spend so much time trying to relax my muscles that I would be a pro. I was wrong! First it took me awhile to figure out how to position my neck and arms so that I could fully relax my neck and shoulders. Second, I have chronic problems in my left hip and low back and even though there wasn’t any pain, I was aware of my left leg- It felt so different from my right leg, like it was floating higher. I spent too much time trying to get it to relax. I could also tell that I was having a hard time getting fully relaxed because I kept wanting to curl up on my side in my normal sleeping position.
Once during the float I sat up and regrouped. Several times I stretched my arms and legs out to relieve tension. This was harder than I thought.
Finally.
Finally at the end I was able to let go of my body sensations and occasionally had glimmers of being “there.” Of almost complete emptiness in my mind. The feeling we’re always trying to achieve with meditation and concentration exercises. But like the owner, Tallia Chaffee told me, the moment I realized I was “there,” my mind started to wander and I lost the feeling. I was glad my husband bought me the three pack of beginners sessions because I have a feeling I’ll get “there” more quickly next time. I was also glad I had the 90 minute session because I think I spent the first hour figuring it out.
So how did I feel afterwards? I was able to feel my muscles were more relaxed. I had been planning to get a coffee afterwards, but realized I didn’t feel like I wanted the stimulation anymore. And I went to the gas station to get some water and ended up with a banana instead of a sugary treat like I had been craving. It was much easier to make those healthier decisions than it might have been.
Of course, then I went and had my eyelashes curled and tinted, which, while not painful, was certainly not a good follow up to my float. I promptly left the salon and got that coffee and a cookie.
I am looking forward to that second float. I wish I could go right this second. I think there will be cumulative effects on my anxiety. I work so hard to stay patient with my children and to improve my relationship with food. I want so badly to just eat when I am hungry instead of my nighttime binge. I think this may be the key to letting the chest tightness that leads me to eat and to yell, go.
Have you floated? I would love to hear about your experience!