By Molly Lechtenberg, DPT
Let’s talk about all the “harmless” little comments we make to our precious little girls from the moment they are born.
My sweet precious baby girl was 9 pounds 5 ounces when she was born. She’s continued to rock the 90th+ percentile (if any of that even matters) at every appointment in all her sweet 18 months of life. Compared to all the other babies in the NICU, she looked like a toddler. We’ve heard from the minute she was born that she is “chunky”. Of course I am hypersensitive to ANY comment about her, but anything about how “big” she is makes me cra–zy.
Let me share some comments made to my daughter by a daycare provider that about sent me over the edge, but went completely under the radar to her as potentially inappropriate.
- Daughter arrived to daycare and had not ate breakfast yet. She also did not want me to leave. To get her comfortable leaving me, I asked if she wanted a banana (which the daycare provider was getting ready for another child). She instantly smiled, let me put her down and went over to her highchair to get a banana. The daycare provider handed half the banana to the child she was getting it ready for. My daughter started crying–obviously–she was hyped up for a banana she thought was hers–while HANGRY–and it was handed to another kid. The daycare provider said “oh you cry over food, it’s that important to you”. **Mom rage** First of all, food SHOULD be important to her….after all, it does keep her ALIVE. Why do we have to make food the enemy to a 1 year old? No wonder so many girls grow up with a terrible relationship with food-insert list of eating disorders here.
- Daycare provider said “when she wants more food I just give her the vegetables so she doesn’t over eat”. Can a one year old over-eat?! Why do I care if she has a second helping of peas? If she was putting down a bag of Cheetos then yes please intervene. A second helping of any main course, give it to her!! We found out during the time she was “eating so much” that she grew 2.5 inches from her 12 month to 18 month appointment. Home-girl needed food!! Food is fuel!
Then there’s just the average comments made by every person about her “chubby” thighs or cheeks. I think the point here is that it isn’t about what our babies understand at this point but it’s training ourselves what to say when they DO understand.
Every night before I put her to bed since she was 6 months old, I tell her “you are so smart, and you are so sweet, and you are so kind”. Since she has been 14 months old, after each statement I say, she says “yeah” and smiles. It’s the greatest part of my day.
Let’s talk to our little girls about how wonderful they are, not make comments about their bodies.